Case of the Missing Cookies
by Mein Liebling
Summary: "I'm going to solve... the case of the missing cookies." "You're joking right?" "Evans, you don't understand, this is a horrible thing. All my cookies are gone! My secret stash has been raided!" /Brotp Sirius/Lily for my darling Doctor (Forever Siriusly Sirius)


Lily groaned, wincing as her stomach rebelled against her and twisted itself into knots. Damn it. Periods. The bane of every woman's existence. Why must they hurt so bad, like a giant scorpion was stabbing your gut and flipping it around as you bled your life blood out of your body in a completely uncomfortable manor?

The redhead would just have to be patient. This nightmare would go away in five days. Only five more days to go. At that moment, her stomach started to complain again, and Lily nearly growled in frustration, had she not been stuck next to the ever light-sleeper, Mary McDonald, who would wake up no matter the hour and then ask, "What's wrong Lily?" and Lily would lie between her teeth and say "Nothing, Mary" but by then it would have spread to all of Gryffindor, and the next morning, to all the Hogwarts Houses and teachers, and then Potter and his gang would be even _more _of arses.

Bloody pricks.

But now, at some ungodly hour of the morning, Lily was trapped in her poor state desperately trying to sleep but ultimately failing. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, trying not to move from her somewhat comfortable position, when her stomach made a loud groan and made its presence known.

Like she could forget it.

"That's it," Lily muttered, grabbing her bed sheets and pulling them around her as Mary twitched in her sleep. "I'm going to the Common room."

Hopefully she could just lie on the couch peacefully with the windows open and look at the stars and the rain that was beating against the panels and maybe get some sleep. The couches were the most comfortable things in the common room, and were usually taken up by the younger students who spread themselves thin on the squishy piece of furniture.

Well not now. Mwahahahahahahaha.

Lily wondered silently if she was going crazy.

Nah, probably just the period pains.

Ah, she was near the old creaky stairs that led from the girls rooms down to the common room. Lily could almost feel the comfortable couch sinking between her weight, and the plush side pillow that smelled like lavender and daisies. The redhead tightened her grip around her blanket and pulled it up more around her shoulders, walking a little bit faster down the steps as she caught sight of her goal. Her beautiful, beautiful, goal.

The couch.

It was sitting there, blissfully free of students at three in the morning, and nothing was stopping Lily from her goal.

No one.

Lily sighed as she sat down on the couch and her pains came back full force, but at least the couch was more comfortable then her bed. It was also much quieter in the common room, with no one there except the crackling fire and-

"Sirius!?"

The black haired boy turned from his spot in front of the fire and nodded somberly at the flabbergasted sixth year. "Hey, Lils."

"Don't call me that," Lily snapped back unconsciously, still staring at the boy like he had grown a beard or turned into an animal. What was Sirius Black, of all people, doing in the Gryffindor common room at three in the morning?

"What are you doing here?"

"I could be asking you the same thing, Lils."

Lily froze. She was at the middle of the road. She could choose either one way, or the other.

Backwards (to hide in her room away from this strangely serious Sirius because he was starting to scare the hell out of her), or forwards in her quest (to achieve peace and tranquility on this beautifully comfortable couch which she had already started to achieve).

It's fairly obvious what her choice was.

"Oh shut up, Black, I asked you first. Now, spill."

Sirius sighed and looked into the fire, acting as if he was a man who just held his child for the first time and just learned that- _I'm going to have to be an adult now. I have responsibilities. I have to change the diaper. _He looked like he was pondering the mystery of the universe, or debating with himself the best way to capture a kangaroo.

Lily really didn't know. This was the first time she saw this side of Sirius.

Lily didn't know whether to laugh or continue to stare bewildered at the other sixth year. "Uh… Sirius? You alright there? You're kind of… philosophizing. And it's three AM. No one philosophizes at three AM."

"Well, if you must know, young grasshopper…"

"I'm older then you."

"…If you must know, I am solving a mystery."

The redhead lifted an eyebrow. "You're solving a mystery?" Lily would have thought that the Marauder was drunk if not for his completely sober voice and stance. Sirius still hadn't moved from his spot near the fire, answering her questions with his back turned and a low voice. _What was going on here?_

"Yes, a mystery."

"And what is this about?"

Lily became aware once again of the sound of rain pattering against the windows as the silence dragged onward.

"I am going to solve the case… _of the missing cookies."_

Lily blinked for a moment, processing the Gryffindor's words, before deadpanning, _"_You've got to be joking."

"I am not joking, Evans! This is serious!"

"Sirius…"

"Yes, serious!"

"No, Sirius, I meant _you_ Sirius, not you being _serious _because while you are Sirius you are absolutely _not _serious about this. The case of the missing cookies? What on Earth are you blabbering on about?"

"Evans, you don't understand, this is a horrible thing. All my cookies are gone! My secret stash has been raided!" a look of complete horror crossed the male's face. "What if they found my por-"

Lily scrunched her nose up in disgust as she interrupted Sirius. "I did not need to know that, thank you very much. Too much information."

Ugh. Her stomach was starting to twist itself up again, and the redhead winced in pain. She was starving, despite feeling like she would throw up what she would eat, and had to switch her position again so she would be comfortable.

"Hungry, Evans?" Sirius asked, turning from the fireplace to look at the girl.

Lily scowled. "What's it to you, Black?"

"Well, you're hungry, I'm hungry, we have a mystery to solve…"

"Is this your way of asking me to help you figure out who stole your cookies and possibly give me some of them because I know that the kitchen is closed at this time of hour and my stomach is eating itself in hunger?"

"…Didn't need to know that, but, yes, Evans. I would like for you to be my sidekick-"

"Companion."

"-Companion it is then!"

"Throw in some peanut butter cookies and you've got a deal."

"Deal!"

Sirius smiled as he held helped Lily off the couch and offered the other sixth year his arm. "Shall we, my dearest Lilypad?"

"If we get expelled, I'm blaming you." Lily muttered, despite grinning slightly as Sirius led her out of the common room, still swathed in her blanket, and into the dark and silent Hogwarts hallways. "Do you even know where or what you're doing?"

"Not a clue."

Lily sighed. "Absolutely brilliant. Forward we go."

* * *

**For the Quidditch League Puddles (middle of the road, nightmare, patient).**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

For the reviews that ask "Why is Lily feeling pains in her stomach?" "Why is Lily feeling awful?"

Well, I told you. In the third sentence.

_She's on her period._

Tada.

For the other question:

"What did Sirius mean by 'por-'"

You, child, if you do not know what I mean by 'por-' then savour your innocence while it lasts, it'll come to you one day.


End file.
